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Binu Sivan's avatar

“This might be the happiest I will ever be.” Such a wise reminder.

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Binu Sivan's avatar

“This might be the happiest I will ever be.” Such a wise reminder.

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Brian V's avatar

Elizabeth- Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story. Your description of the “all-pervading nature of grief. It’s the background noise I hear all day long — a constant hum” is so perfectly said.

My 24 year old daughter died in a terrible accident just 4 months after my wife died and I have just begun to be able to write about my experience with grief, two years later. Thank you for sharing your insights and experience

publicly.

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Elizabeth Jane Whittington's avatar

Every word resonates. I’ve experienced great loss and grief throughout my life. I’ve joined Substack to share my writing about it. I am thankful to you and others who share the enormous truth of grief.

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Elizabeth, I look forward to reading your stories.

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Elizabeth Jane Whittington's avatar

Thank you.

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Aaron Sorensen's avatar

Thank you for writing this. I’m so sorry for your loss! To go from the joy of sending your child away to college to such terrible news must have been such a shock. I lost my teen-aged son Lucas over four years ago and it’s taken a lot to work through the grief. I’m interested in learning more about your journey and how you and your family have managed. Please take care of yourself.

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Aaron - What a devastating loss for you and your family. As grieving parents, we share a unique space...noone would trade places with us. Thinking of you and your beautiful son Lucas.

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Barbara's avatar

Dear Elizabeth, I send you and your family all the love in my heart in this moment, and I feel honored to have read this piece and to know your Henry through your words. He is beautiful and may his light and memory be eternal.

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Barbara that means so much to me. Thank you.

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Sally McQuillen's avatar

Glad to have discovered another mother with a beautiful son, here one day and gone the next. Sending hugs.

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Thank you Sally. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Phoebe Brooks's avatar

Elizabeth. 🤍

As I read this I hold you so deeply in my heart for the journey of grief you have to endure. To love so deeply is to grieve even deeper, and to grieve is because you love. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Much love from my heart to yours.

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Phoebe - I'm so glad my article spoke to me. Thank you. Parental love is the deepest love there is.

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Joan Stommen's avatar

I am so sorry for this tragedy that took your son. I’m in tears as I think of my two grkids in college right now. Your decision to move is brave and wise imo…proximity helps. Bless your son for accepting, he needs it too even if he doesn’t realize. I’m so grateful you told us about Henry! What a wonderful young man! All these things you mention… you could write a post about each of his interests, growing up years, shenanigans, future dreams. I know how much writing helps us heal… not recover, but easing the times we find ourselves laughing and having a good time. Do tell us more about him. ☺️Much love and peace to you, dear Elizabeth. 🫶🙏😘

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Thank you so much for reading about Henry. I feel like my mission is to introduce him to others since he no longer can... These are great ideas. I'm sending love to you and your grandkids. Tell them to stay safe, go to parties with a buddy, put a rail on their bunk beds.

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Tracy Mansolillo's avatar

Elizabeth, Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful son. I read this through tears, and when I finished, said a prayer for your family for continued strength. There are no words to adequatly convey my sorrow for your unimaginable loss. I'll continue to keep you and all those who have lost a child in my thoughts and prayers. There is no greater loss.

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Tracy - Thank you for taking the time to read about Henry. Each time someone new (like you) gets to know him through my writing, I feel I am honoring his memory anew.

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Tracy Mansolillo's avatar

You certainly are honoring his memory and helping others in the process. I’ve never taken my son for granted- I am so blessed to have one child- but I hugged him even tighter after reading about Henry. I loved the photo of you and Henry - the love you had for each other just emanated from the page. I’m selfishly fortunate that my son is not going away to college. I don’t think I could have handled it after reading about Henry’s tragic accident. That being said, I’m well aware how quickly life can change. Sending you a virtual hug.

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Teyani Whitman's avatar

Comprehending what you have said, I still cannot fathom the enormity of your family’s loss. My heart goes out to you. Don’t listen to the insensitive folks who tell you how good you look. People say the strangest things to make themselves less uncomfortable. Next time someone says you look like you’re healing (getting over it or whatever) just look at them and shake your head as you softly say, you never get over this.. you just learn to walk with it.

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Thank you Teyani. It's really true - I will never get over this, nor would I want that... ❤️‍🩹

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Joanie Madsen's avatar

My mother’s heart hears yours. Life is forever alerted and it is the background noise which always plays. Sometimes causing our ears to ‘bleed’ and other moments somehow able to carry. Gentle care as you follow the bread crumb trail, one baby step at a time. Dear Henry, deeply loved and sorely missed always. ❤️‍🩹

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Thank you so much Joanie. 💐

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Edina Kalamperovic's avatar

Elizabeth, thank you for being brave in sharing your grief. My heart aches for you and your family. It is a parents worst nightmare. As the mother of two children, all you want is for them to be safe and to see them grow. You want everything to go as it is supposed to. There is a camp called https://experiencecamps.org/ that helps children dealing with grief, it could be a resource for your son. If there is any other way I can be of help, I am here, one mother to another.

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Thank you so much Edina! It is truly a nightmare. But the Substack community is a beacon. This looks like a wonderful camp, and I will keep it in mind for my son and the children of other grieving parents, I know.

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Janine De Tillio Cammarata 🖊️'s avatar

Elizabeth, my heart breaks for you. I see you and hear you and know much of the grief that you're carrying at this moment. Yes grief looks different to everyone but it's still a heavy boulder that we shoulder until our grief muscles strengthen. The grief gets lighter but it's still there. Sending you much love and holding you in my heart. If you'd like to connect, feel free to message me.

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Thank you so much Janine. I look forward to exploring your writing.

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Janine De Tillio Cammarata 🖊️'s avatar

The same goes for yours❤️

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Victoria's avatar

Elizabeth, heart aching leaky eyes. Thank you for sharing this with us. Bearing witness and sitting in empathy is all I can do. Here alongside you.

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Thank you so much Victoria.

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Victoria's avatar

On the main page of Carer Mentor you'll see a 'grief resources' article. It links to MANY authors. I hope one of my articles or one from someone else resonates. xo

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Elizabeth Kopple's avatar

Victoria - Thank you for this resource. It's been difficult to find the grief writers on the Platform and this helps.

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Victoria's avatar

You're very welcome.

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S Yvonne Novak's avatar

Thank you for sharing Henry and your grief. I can't even imagine the effort it takes to move forward with such a loss. Much love to you and your family.

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