As I read this I hold you so deeply in my heart for the journey of grief you have to endure. To love so deeply is to grieve even deeper, and to grieve is because you love. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Much love from my heart to yours.
I am so sorry for this tragedy that took your son. I’m in tears as I think of my two grkids in college right now. Your decision to move is brave and wise imo…proximity helps. Bless your son for accepting, he needs it too even if he doesn’t realize. I’m so grateful you told us about Henry! What a wonderful young man! All these things you mention… you could write a post about each of his interests, growing up years, shenanigans, future dreams. I know how much writing helps us heal… not recover, but easing the times we find ourselves laughing and having a good time. Do tell us more about him. ☺️Much love and peace to you, dear Elizabeth. 🫶🙏😘
Thank you so much for reading about Henry. I feel like my mission is to introduce him to others since he no longer can... These are great ideas. I'm sending love to you and your grandkids. Tell them to stay safe, go to parties with a buddy, put a rail on their bunk beds.
Elizabeth, Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful son. I read this through tears, and when I finished, said a prayer for your family for continued strength. There are no words to adequatly convey my sorrow for your unimaginable loss. I'll continue to keep you and all those who have lost a child in my thoughts and prayers. There is no greater loss.
Tracy - Thank you for taking the time to read about Henry. Each time someone new (like you) gets to know him through my writing, I feel I am honoring his memory anew.
You certainly are honoring his memory and helping others in the process. I’ve never taken my son for granted- I am so blessed to have one child- but I hugged him even tighter after reading about Henry. I loved the photo of you and Henry - the love you had for each other just emanated from the page. I’m selfishly fortunate that my son is not going away to college. I don’t think I could have handled it after reading about Henry’s tragic accident. That being said, I’m well aware how quickly life can change. Sending you a virtual hug.
Elizabeth, thank you for being brave in sharing your grief. My heart aches for you and your family. It is a parents worst nightmare. As the mother of two children, all you want is for them to be safe and to see them grow. You want everything to go as it is supposed to. There is a camp called https://experiencecamps.org/ that helps children dealing with grief, it could be a resource for your son. If there is any other way I can be of help, I am here, one mother to another.
Thank you so much Edina! It is truly a nightmare. But the Substack community is a beacon. This looks like a wonderful camp, and I will keep it in mind for my son and the children of other grieving parents, I know.
Elizabeth, my heart breaks for you. I see you and hear you and know much of the grief that you're carrying at this moment. Yes grief looks different to everyone but it's still a heavy boulder that we shoulder until our grief muscles strengthen. The grief gets lighter but it's still there. Sending you much love and holding you in my heart. If you'd like to connect, feel free to message me.
On the main page of Carer Mentor you'll see a 'grief resources' article. It links to MANY authors. I hope one of my articles or one from someone else resonates. xo
Elizabeth, My heart aches with you as a shared mother's grief only can. It took me 3 years to muster up the strength to start writing about my 17 year old son's death, but it is so meaningful to connect with others. Ongoing conversations about our children are so important in the healing process. Sending big love to you and your family.
Allison - Thank you so much for reading my post. I completely understand the need to wait 3 years to start writing about your beautiful son. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you love as well.
I’m devastated for you and with you so sad having read your story, one small speck of goodness that I felt when I looked at your smiling handsome happy sons photo when he was in his college dorm room- it came to me that he died happy that doesn’t take away from the tragedy and the horrible missing this of you not having your son but he radiated joy and that’s a lot to do with you and your love and your family love for him and seem like he was a happy person and had a good life.
I also understand why you moved to Washington to be near your other son who was beginning college. (evidently that was about a year ago). I hope that worked out, and that getting away from home and having proximity to your living son has been healing for you, your husband, and son.
I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m thinking a lot about you ever since you commented and I read your article. You’re in my thoughts this week, especially and you will stay in my thoughts and prayers.
Susan - Thanks so much for your note. Henry did have a wonderful life and he knew that he was deeply loved by many many people and this does make a huge difference. I tell people not to put things off. Take that trip, send the flowers, forgive her/him while you can.
Comprehending what you have said, I still cannot fathom the enormity of your family’s loss. My heart goes out to you. Don’t listen to the insensitive folks who tell you how good you look. People say the strangest things to make themselves less uncomfortable. Next time someone says you look like you’re healing (getting over it or whatever) just look at them and shake your head as you softly say, you never get over this.. you just learn to walk with it.
My mother’s heart hears yours. Life is forever alerted and it is the background noise which always plays. Sometimes causing our ears to ‘bleed’ and other moments somehow able to carry. Gentle care as you follow the bread crumb trail, one baby step at a time. Dear Henry, deeply loved and sorely missed always. ❤️🩹
“This might be the happiest I will ever be.” Such a wise reminder.
“This might be the happiest I will ever be.” Such a wise reminder.
Glad to have discovered another mother with a beautiful son, here one day and gone the next. Sending hugs.
Thank you Sally. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Elizabeth. 🤍
As I read this I hold you so deeply in my heart for the journey of grief you have to endure. To love so deeply is to grieve even deeper, and to grieve is because you love. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Much love from my heart to yours.
Phoebe - I'm so glad my article spoke to me. Thank you. Parental love is the deepest love there is.
I am so sorry for this tragedy that took your son. I’m in tears as I think of my two grkids in college right now. Your decision to move is brave and wise imo…proximity helps. Bless your son for accepting, he needs it too even if he doesn’t realize. I’m so grateful you told us about Henry! What a wonderful young man! All these things you mention… you could write a post about each of his interests, growing up years, shenanigans, future dreams. I know how much writing helps us heal… not recover, but easing the times we find ourselves laughing and having a good time. Do tell us more about him. ☺️Much love and peace to you, dear Elizabeth. 🫶🙏😘
Thank you so much for reading about Henry. I feel like my mission is to introduce him to others since he no longer can... These are great ideas. I'm sending love to you and your grandkids. Tell them to stay safe, go to parties with a buddy, put a rail on their bunk beds.
Elizabeth, Thank you for sharing your story and your beautiful son. I read this through tears, and when I finished, said a prayer for your family for continued strength. There are no words to adequatly convey my sorrow for your unimaginable loss. I'll continue to keep you and all those who have lost a child in my thoughts and prayers. There is no greater loss.
Tracy - Thank you for taking the time to read about Henry. Each time someone new (like you) gets to know him through my writing, I feel I am honoring his memory anew.
You certainly are honoring his memory and helping others in the process. I’ve never taken my son for granted- I am so blessed to have one child- but I hugged him even tighter after reading about Henry. I loved the photo of you and Henry - the love you had for each other just emanated from the page. I’m selfishly fortunate that my son is not going away to college. I don’t think I could have handled it after reading about Henry’s tragic accident. That being said, I’m well aware how quickly life can change. Sending you a virtual hug.
Elizabeth, thank you for being brave in sharing your grief. My heart aches for you and your family. It is a parents worst nightmare. As the mother of two children, all you want is for them to be safe and to see them grow. You want everything to go as it is supposed to. There is a camp called https://experiencecamps.org/ that helps children dealing with grief, it could be a resource for your son. If there is any other way I can be of help, I am here, one mother to another.
Thank you so much Edina! It is truly a nightmare. But the Substack community is a beacon. This looks like a wonderful camp, and I will keep it in mind for my son and the children of other grieving parents, I know.
Elizabeth, my heart breaks for you. I see you and hear you and know much of the grief that you're carrying at this moment. Yes grief looks different to everyone but it's still a heavy boulder that we shoulder until our grief muscles strengthen. The grief gets lighter but it's still there. Sending you much love and holding you in my heart. If you'd like to connect, feel free to message me.
Thank you so much Janine. I look forward to exploring your writing.
The same goes for yours❤️
Elizabeth, heart aching leaky eyes. Thank you for sharing this with us. Bearing witness and sitting in empathy is all I can do. Here alongside you.
Thank you so much Victoria.
On the main page of Carer Mentor you'll see a 'grief resources' article. It links to MANY authors. I hope one of my articles or one from someone else resonates. xo
Victoria - Thank you for this resource. It's been difficult to find the grief writers on the Platform and this helps.
You're very welcome.
How my heart breaks reading this. Awfully brave of you to share it.
Elizabeth, My heart aches with you as a shared mother's grief only can. It took me 3 years to muster up the strength to start writing about my 17 year old son's death, but it is so meaningful to connect with others. Ongoing conversations about our children are so important in the healing process. Sending big love to you and your family.
Allison - Thank you so much for reading my post. I completely understand the need to wait 3 years to start writing about your beautiful son. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you love as well.
Dear Elizabeth,
I’m devastated for you and with you so sad having read your story, one small speck of goodness that I felt when I looked at your smiling handsome happy sons photo when he was in his college dorm room- it came to me that he died happy that doesn’t take away from the tragedy and the horrible missing this of you not having your son but he radiated joy and that’s a lot to do with you and your love and your family love for him and seem like he was a happy person and had a good life.
I also understand why you moved to Washington to be near your other son who was beginning college. (evidently that was about a year ago). I hope that worked out, and that getting away from home and having proximity to your living son has been healing for you, your husband, and son.
I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m thinking a lot about you ever since you commented and I read your article. You’re in my thoughts this week, especially and you will stay in my thoughts and prayers.
Susan - Thanks so much for your note. Henry did have a wonderful life and he knew that he was deeply loved by many many people and this does make a huge difference. I tell people not to put things off. Take that trip, send the flowers, forgive her/him while you can.
Comprehending what you have said, I still cannot fathom the enormity of your family’s loss. My heart goes out to you. Don’t listen to the insensitive folks who tell you how good you look. People say the strangest things to make themselves less uncomfortable. Next time someone says you look like you’re healing (getting over it or whatever) just look at them and shake your head as you softly say, you never get over this.. you just learn to walk with it.
Thank you Teyani. It's really true - I will never get over this, nor would I want that... ❤️🩹
My mother’s heart hears yours. Life is forever alerted and it is the background noise which always plays. Sometimes causing our ears to ‘bleed’ and other moments somehow able to carry. Gentle care as you follow the bread crumb trail, one baby step at a time. Dear Henry, deeply loved and sorely missed always. ❤️🩹
Thank you so much Joanie. 💐